Winston and Tam become love rivals over a gentle, lovely lady at the local library. But which one will win the fair lady's heart? Meanwhile, Jack and Victor are feeling depressed, and there's a new drug on trial at the health centre. They rehearse their scripts for when they get there to convince the doctor, but Jack's 'I'm depressed' face looks more like 'I'm constipated'.

• Ford Kiernan
• Greg Hemphill

• Clive Russell
• David Hayman
• Billy Boyd