Samad Iqbal is in self-described 'chicken tikka purgatory', working as a waiter in his cousin's curry house and forced to sleep in the loft by his wife, Alsana, who is on sex-strike. Fate presents frustrated Samad with the ultimate test of his faith, in the shapely form of Poppy Burt-Jones, his twin sons' teacher. A passionate adulterous affair throws Samad into turmoil. He decides to try and make amends by saving his sons from the corruption of the West, although he can afford to send only one of them back to Bangladesh for a proper education in the old ways. Millat needs it most, but Magid saw his dad kissing Poppy.

• Zadie Smith

• James McAvoy
• Russell Brand
• Christopher Simpson