Mike Crystal is an all-round performer at a cabaret club. He wants his own night, but his boss won't give it to him. In order to get a better slot, he invents an alter-ego- tough Cockney agent Clint Stallone. He gets himself in a mes, however when the boss sends someone to get photographs of Clint doing something incriminating. He is photographed with his own girlfriend, but dressed as Clint. Mike is informed off this and he stupidly arranges a fight to take place at the office of said boss. He shouts at himself and smashes a window, claiming that Clint ran off. Mike gets a job releasing a new record by the Wurzels, who are at a ceremony presented by Mike. He pre-recorded a tape of Clint, claiming that he was dying of cancer.

• Adam Fogerty
• Jim Carter
• George Costigan